Playing on my iPod....

It's been an uber lazy day today, even though I work from home. It's been all about my bed, my DVR, Pomegranate green tea, Caramel Corn rice cakes and cuddling with the pooch.

About an hour ago I got up to download some music and this is one of the new songs I got.

Definitely fits my mood...

Have a great, lazy weekend y'all! oxox

Dipped...

Okay here's another obsession of the moment. This Ombre hair color trend for brunettes. LOVE>>>>LOVE>>>>LOVE. I've only dyed my hair once, my freshmen year of college and I'm trying to figure out if I want to do this again. It's a commitment because coloring your hair can cause it to dry out and break off. The way I do my hair already doesn't require any grease so it can really start to break off.

I already wear my hair in loose barrel curls on a regular basis and I can totally see this style fitting in with my clothes and my tats. Yum. I'll let you know if I end up doing it! Until then....enjoy!

UPDATE: I ended up doing it. I used Sun In which is a very mild lightening spray. I soaked the lower part of my hair with it and because it's heat activated I blow it dry with a blow dryer. I repeated about 4 times going lower on my hair each time. It looks amazing and I'm so excited. My tips are as light as I would want them to be so I'm going to repeat it in a few days. Anyway I'm proud I tried something new and that it came out great!

Read all about em....

I'm currently obsessed with these newspaper boy/flat caps. They are so attractive on a man and they look super hot on girls. Now it took me almost an hour finding these images which means not everyone can pull them off. They definitely have to be a good fit, not too loose, too big or to curved. Like sex, it should fit just right. I'm shopping around for my first cap and I can't wait to find it!

I love dick Unk......

When I was home for Thanksgiving I stayed with my dad instead of my mom. My uncle and his family usually stay there as well so for the first time, him and I were in tight quarters with each other and he started to let on about something that really pissed me off. I mean I'm pretty upset now just thinking about it.

I think my unlce thinks I'm gay and that I'm in the closet.

First things first.....I'm not gay. I've never been with a woman and unless it was a threesome with a man to turn him on, I wouldn't care to sleep with one. I'm not saying anything against lesbians, I'm just saying I'm not one of them.

Yes I have tattoos, yes I cuss, yes I took a year off from dating (MEN), but I LOVE DICK!!!!! I mean they've only met one boyfriend but I don't bring men around my family unless it's a serious relationship. Plus I was pregnant for heaven's sake so what the fuck?!

My uncle is a military lifer, traditional. He had been for like 40 years and I don't know if it's because I'm not a submissive, 40's wife that has lead him to these conclusions. Or because today's society assumes that strong willed women are gay but it actually makes me feel uncomfortable. Insecure about who I am when I'm around that side of the family. If they actually got past my exterior they would know I'm very girlie and very traditional myself.

At this point I can't wait to fall in love, be awife and have kids.

Anyway...the only thing I want to say to him whenever he says another sarcastic ass comment is...."I love dick Unk so back the fuck off."

Who do I have to be.....

It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Hook:
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Repeat Hook

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me

Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me
(Repeat)
--

A lot of my female friends are going thru it with their men. I remember those days of loving and pleading for the man in your life, the man you loved more then anything to just stay and love you. Reminding him of all the things he's said to you. Reminding him of all the times you wanted to leave and he brought you back. (p.s The Joke-ster has been all up in my dreams too.....sigh.) I love this song so much.

It's funny tho because I've been singing this song since I was a kid and never really paid attention to the words. I recently put Lauryn's CD in to play as I was waiting for a friend and randomly picked up the insert to read the words. When I actually read the lyrics that I'd been singing for years, I fell even more in love with it.

As this year comes to an end, I've been trying to figure out if I'm ready to date again. Has my heart mended? Have I really left all my baggage in the past? Are all my cynical thoughts and negative notions now converted into positive and faithful ones? Yes I think they are.

For the first time ever, I'm excited about letting a man into my heart. To love equally without shutting myself off completely and be an optimistic. It still unnerves me a little but I try not to think of the pain that I and other women I know have had to face. The love lost.

I love being single, and I don't know if it's because of my cliche age but I think I really have developed as a person and am thinking about marriage and kids.

The only thing left to do is figure out the income and career of choice....ugh....no bueno.

Mixing dicks....

By now you have to know I like sex. A LOT. Casual sex though, I'm not really into. I've had a one night stand and didn't like it (and actually, I knew the guy so it really wasn't a one night stand with someone I just met). I was having a discussion with 2 of my good friends about casual dating and long term relationships and it came to my attention that they casually date with sex frequently. My first thought was pretty judgemental, because I don't believe in having a lot of sexual partners but I'm not sure if I'm wrong or right.

Now these are great girls! Really good friends. One is in med school, 28, really pretty and loves being in a relationship. The other has her masters in social work, 25, pretty and is neutral about being single or being in a relationship. Both are interested in getting married and both have a pretty masculine thought process about relationships. Less emotions, upfront and direct honesty, no drama.....I mean I would say we are all in the same boat.

I've said this once and regardless if you believe me, it's the truth. I literally can not have sex with a guy unless all the puzzle pieces naturally fall into place. I have to be attracted up front to his looks, his sense of humor, his integrity, his drive...etc...etc...etc. I can't have one without the rest and fuck him, whereas some girls fuck while getting to know. For me it happens (the joke-ster, atom, itta bit), it's just few and far between. When all signs point to yes, yummmmm, he better be prepared.

I guess where the girls and I are different is. when we are not in relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend status) they casual date a guy, have sex/get to know him, figure out something they don't like about him and within the next few weeks are on to the next. I (when I was having sex) just had time fillers that provided me with specific needs until I found "THE ONE". One just fulfilled my sexual needs. One was for going to the movies. One was a drinking partner. One was my athlete friend. One gave me ego boosts. One was a texting friend. One would cook for me. I mean the list goes on and on. More times times out of ten though, one guy took on a number of those roles but none of the guys were inter changeable. None of them knew about each other, but they all knew their roles. Where I went wrong, and why I took this year off to change is, I want to try giving one guy a chance to be ALL those things to me.

So, the reason for this post is...when you are not in a serious relationship, is it better to have numerous companions fulfilling a single need? Or to have numerous mates, with whom you've given a chance to fulfill all your needs and when it doesn't work out you move to the next?

You really like me....?!

Oh my goodness you guys!!!!!! I just recently took a look on the blog's stats (which I haven't done since March 2010) and I didn't know so many people were reading my blog!!!!!

I feel like Sally Field when she won her Oscar! "You like me, you like me! You REALLY like me!"

When I first started this blog I thought I would have followers up to Wazoo within my first couple of weeks. When that didn't happen (because my expectations were to high) I got discouraged. Thankful I came around and realized this blog was mostly for moi. I needed to see my thoughts written down. I needed to have a place were even if they weren't being read, I could pretend my thoughts were being heard.

It's so crazy to see now that people (YOU GUYS) are visiting my site and reading all about me. Lol. Who knew! November alone had 205 hits (which may be minimal for some but) that's 205 times someone clicked to check up on me. "Addy's Resume" was actually the most popular of the posts in November. I'm even getting more followers on Twitter daily.

Anyway I just wanted to thank you for visiting...it means a lot!!! Oh and I promise to start posting on a regular basis from here on out.

xoxo,

Forewarning