Call me Dame Forewarning....

I've had a serious love affair with Eminem (the rapper, not the character) for a while but kinda forgot I did since he's been MIA for a couple of years. I didn't bother listening to Relapse but I just got around to buying his Recovery CD 3 days ago and it's been on replay since.

I've said before, I love music but I'm not an expert, I just love whatever music makes me feel good. I'm not into battling or underground demo tapes. Any raps I listen to usually paint a picture/story and has the ability to transport me. My top 3 rappers are # 1 Jay-Z (up until 6 months ago, some of his lyrics rubbed me the wrong way so...), #2 Eminem and #3 Andre 3000. (I could add Lil Wayne as #4 and T.I but I'm not a serious fan). I just can't really connect with any other rapper since I haven't had much experience with the "hood", drugs, violence and guns.

Any whooo, this is one of my favorite songs on Recovery, which is hard to choose just one cause they are really good.

I don't know man, Just feels like, we're a lot different, kinda feels like, we're on a whole different page right now. It feels strange but uh, I guess it's kinda like, it's kinda like...

I feel like I'm morphin, into something that's so incredible that I'm dwarfin, all competitors.
Better get your girlfriend in check. It's psychological warfare. Endorphin side affect.
His self esteem shatters his dialect. Comes blastin out your deck, "she love's me". Such passion you'd expect this sort of reaction from her. Yet, you strong arm. You're fucken corny. You try to turn your charm on. Cuz you just think your bishop, the Don Juan. But if you think that your fucken with me, homie your on one. I'm cockin my head back like "hey lover, come on son. She's on my johnson. She brings my name up constant." Your boys are like, "She's fucken wit dude. She wants him." Oh boy you better get a clue, she's on my dick cuz I spit better than you. What you expect her to do? How you expect her to act in the sack when she's closing her eyes, fantasizing of digging her nails in my back to this track.

Seduction, seduce
Ain't nobody who's as good at what I do
Cause one minute she loves you, the next she don't
She's been stolen from you
Seduction, seduce
Ain't nobody who's as good at what I do
Cause one minute she loves you, the next she don't
She's been stolen from you

She sitting there gettin liquored up at the bar.
She say's it's quicker to count the things that ain't wrong with you than to count the things that are. There's a seven disc cd changer in her car, and I'm in every single slot, and you're not. Aww. I'm the logo on the dallas cowboy helmet. The star, and I'm not about to and just keep rhymin one syllable. Aww. Switch it up, and watch them haters not give it up cuz ya just not good enough. Well I'm not giving up til I get my respect, and I wont stop til I get enough,
cuz I'm not livin up to my own expectations. Aww. That hater alarm is soundin off, that Obama took the bomb from my name. Aww. So quit cryin that I took your dame, homie she's my dame. Aww. You sadly mistakin if you thinkin that I'm not on my game, boy. And thangs just ain't been the same since the day that I came forth. You wear your heart on your sleeve. I sport that white tank boy.

But you got a hard on for me. What you hollerin my name for?
It's your bitch on my dick. Ain't my dang fault. Man, I can't call it.

Seduction, seduce
Ain't nobody who's as good at what I do
Cause one minute she loves you, the next she don't
She's been stolen from you
Seduction, seduce
Ain't nobody who's as good at what I do
Cause one minute she loves you, the next she don't
She's been stolen from you

It's like I'm playing lyrical tug of war with your ear. You hear it girl, come here.
Put your ear up to the speaker, dear, while I freak this world premier. Seducin her.
Loosin up with a little freestyle. By the way, am I losing you? Am I makin you look bad?
Well I got news for ya, homie, ya losin her. Oh wait, she don't like when I spit it fast.
Am I trying to show her how? Let me slow it down some. It's still gonna be a blow out.
You're gonna wanna throw out your whole album.
Rummage through the shit, and try to salvage something to see if you can save any of it,
punk but none of it's fucken with me. Prick, you really feeling that bullshit?
You think you killin them syllables. Quit playing. These beats ain't nothin to fool with.
They call me Fire Marshall. I shut the shit down.
Your entire arsenal is not enough to fuck with one round.
I am also the opposite of wht you are like. You are microcosm of what the fuck I am on the mic.
I am awesome and you are just aww struck. She's love stricken.
She's got her jaw stuck, from sucken my dick. Aww Fuck.

So don't you seduce. Ain't nobody holds a scoop at what I do.
Cuz one minute she wants you, the next she don't. She's been stolen from you.
So don't you seduce at what I do. Cuz one minute she wants you, the next she don't.
She's been stolen from you...
--

As I'm sure you know, I like my men a little raunchy (there's however a fine line between raunchy and offensive). Eminem completely teeter totters over that line but I fuck with the lyrics that aren't insulting. I've also been watching 8 Mile....which I'll post about later. His character in the movie as well as the sex scene makes my crush on him a little more intense.

I die...

I want this shirt soooo bad!

My life seems to measured in my obsessions of the moments. I'll go on a reading kick and for 3 weeks straight I'll do nothing but read books. Anything I can get my hands on (Google books is amazing for this). Then it'll be exercising...then movies...then shoes...then boys...then interior design and redesigning my apartment....then traveling...then personal projects. I mean the list goes on and on but right now I'm on my fashion kick. I'm reading fashion blogs, shopping online, in boutiques. I have so many receipts and shopping bags it's insane.

Obsession of the moment...

I am dying over these harem/tapered pants...I can't even explain....

The only thing though is that I'm black chick thick around my thighs and butt and I look crazy weird in them. They are definitely for the more slender woman. Anyway, I've been thinking about slimming down...like really slim. Like Lauren London thick to Zoe Saldana slim. Just a thought...just a thought....

Eagle Scout....

I am in straight AssHole Mode right now. I'm working by myself and EVERYTHING is annoying and/or pissing me off. From my tours, to the residents, the weather, my hair...I mean everything. If people could hear the thoughts/judgements/jokes in my head they would truly be offended.

I mean TRULY, TRULY, TRULY OFFENDED.

Flood gates...

I had a feeling I shouldn't have crossed the sex line and now that I have my libedo is pulsating...

Here's a song similar to the Marques Houston song that gets my imagination going whenever I hear it. I'm not saying it's a good song but it gets me going every time. I'll post my sexy thoughts later....


Soon as we get started, makin love,goin harder,I hear a..
(knock knock) knocking on the wall,
And as soon as I go deep, getting it in then again, theres a..
(knock knock) knocking on the wall,
Girl your legs keep shakin
I swear we breakin
our new headboard, headboard
And the love we make it feels so good
girl you know I'm proud
lookin in your lovely face scream my name
you do it so loud

[Chorus:]
I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin,
I bet the neighbors know my name
My name my name
I bet the neighbors know my name
My my my...

Take this pillow right here (grab this)
And I know you're so excited if you bite it they wont hear
And you know,
just what we capable of,
when we makin love
So the music gone be loud,
you gone scream and shout
Girl your bodys a problem,
they call me the problem solver
Let phone sit on the charger,
it could ring all night
They can call, they can knock
and be upset, but I bet

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
I be bangin on yo body, they be bangin on our wall
While they dreamin, you be screamin now they bangin on our door
Sometimes she call me trey, sometimes she say tremaine
When its all said and done bet the neighbors know my name
Sometimes she call me trigga cause I make her body bust
They might think my name is Ooo Shit, I make her cuss

[Chorus:]
I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin
I bet the neighbors know my name
My name my name
I bet the neighbors know my name
Neighbors know my name
I bet the neighbors know my name
Way you screamin scratchin yellin,
Bet the neighbors know my name
They be stressin while we sexin
I bet the neighbors know my name
My name my name
I bet the neighbors know my name

[Verse 3]
The way you scream my name (the way you scream my name)
Girl the love we make (girl the love we make)
Gone keep on bangin on the wall, but nothings gonna change
I bet the neighbors know my name

Taste buds....

I have weird taste buds. I love things that are salty and sweet and needs to have a soft and crispy feel to it. Here is a list of my favorite combos of food....

Spaghetti Sandwich

Take the warm garlic bread you'd normal have on the side, slice a piece, pile on the spaghetti, top with Parmesan cheese, top with another piece of garlic bread and enjoy.

Shrimp and Grits

Google Bobby Flays recipe. I know it sounds weird but it's amazing!!!!

Ice Cream and French Fries
Nuff said.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Waffle Sandwich

Take 2 regular Eggo Waffles, toast them and spread on Peanut Better and Jelly.

Chocolate Chip cookies MINUS the chocolate chips

NO...it's not just a sugar cookie it's a piece of heaven. Just follow a regular recipe just leave out the chocolate chips. Eat warm with ice cream to really set it off.

Chocolate pudding, Oreos and Gummy Worms

Yummy to my tummy

P.S....

Now I know why I don't talk about sex anymore...just thinking about what I can't have made me super h-o-r-n-y. damn it!

Ahhhhh push it....

My favorite topic to talk about it sex, but I've been so in my head that I haven't done it in a while. So.......

Do you like it rough or sensual?

This question is like asking which child a mother loves most but if I had to choose....rough wins.

Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?

Dick.

How often do you like to have sex?

with the right man...every chance I get.

Is sex a top priority for you?
Si

Do you have sex face to face with your partner?

Yup

How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sex?

Ohhh....not in a long time (tear)

How do you feel about one night stands?

Not for me.

How many one night stands have you had?

One

What's your favorite position?

Whichever one keeps us moaning.

Where's your favorite place to have sex?
A place that's not the bed.

Do you prefer to make love or fuck?
Fuck.

Have you ever watched porn while having sex?
Who hasn't at least once?

How long do you usually fore-play before doing the deed?

I consider everything leading up to the deed foreplay. Sexual tension is my favorite form of foreplay.

Do you get off first or do they?

I like making him cum first, first go round.

Do you like kissing during sex?

Oh yes!!!

Do you moan? If so, are you loud or quite?

Moan, talk, bite. All soft and sensual.

Do you prefer your partner to be loud or quite?
I prefer them to talk to me.

Does size matter?

Uh duh.

Bucket List...

Run in an Urbanathon

Make S'mores on a real camp fire

Join the Mile High club

Be kissed at the aquarium

Take a bath with a view

Throw a dinner party (diamonds, cuff links and all)
Be served breakfast in bed
Have the guts to cut my hair
Name my next dog Barnaby
See a glacier...

What would be playing on my iPod...

Bookworm...

Just got off the phone with my mom, who told me she was sending me my childhood book collection. It got me thinking about all my favorite series and decided to share them with you guys...

What were your favorite childhood books?

What would be playing on my iPod....Old Timers Edition...

One word...legendary...

Lol...the picture above is so cliche but what happened this weekend was too amazing not to tell you. I was going to go into this long shpeel of details but it was too much. Short story is...

Since it was July 4th weekend, my main goal when I was making plans to go out was to look cute, flirt a bit and dance...basically, have a fun time.

I was channeling Carrie Bradshaw with my outfit, black mini dress with pockets and new pink bondage heels (ah..maz..ing). I was hand chosen from the line outside the club and was able to get my friends in for free (the douchebag bouncer told me to shut my pretty little mouth when I asked if another friend could come and I totally did.)

When we went to the bar, the bartender took a liking to us and basically gave us triple shots for every regular shot we ordered (Patron and Crown Royal...yikes...I know). I clearly didn't take into consideration that I had been drinking Margaritas and Lemondrop Martinis since 6 p.m. cause my tipsy rush hit me like a mack truck.

While we wobbled out the club a group of lesbians asked if we wanted to hang in their VIP booth. (Pheesh...the night has already fun so why not?) We had a couple of Vodka/orange juice drinks with them, then headed out to get a taxi.....THE NIGHT WAS SEAMLESS! SO MUCH FUN.....BUT...appartnely the night didn't stop when we got in the taxi....

--Next morning--

I woke up in my bed. My hair was wet and there was a large puddle of water in the middle of my hallway. (WTF???)

My friend...(we'll call her America) lives right next to me. I looked like shit and felt worse so I looked for my phone to call her. No phone. No purse. No delicious pink bondage heels??? After all the drinking excursions I've had this was a first.

I jumped in the shower, (which from the scene in my bathroom I had done a lot of last night), threw on some sweats and headed to America's apartment next door. There was a pink shoe in the hallway. Really?! I knock on the door and she answers with "WTF happened last night?" I half laugh/half dry heave...clearly I'm still drunk.

Me: "We came home in the taxi..."

America: "Oh no we didn't..."

A voice comes out from her bedroom and says "Hey Forewarning..."

Me: "Who the hell is that? And why does he know my name?"

America: "Oh trust me it gets better." Then I notice an open bottle of chocolate milk (WTF???) and a bottle of Jose Cuervo Margarita drink (Oh shit!) that I know was in my fridge when we left.

Me: "Did we drink that when we came back?"

America: "I guess!!! I remember saying I was sick and then you thought chocolate milk would settle my stomach."

Me: "You listened to me!!! I was clearly drunk! Where is my purse? Shoes? Phone?"

America: "On my couch. We made 3 stops in the taxi last night...do you remember? You got out one of the times but I don't know where you went?"

Me: "What?! No I don't remember! Let's check the camera to see if we took any pics." There were above 9 blurry pictures, but we couldn't tell what they were of.

--

Needless to say, we still have a lot of questions unanswered....Where I went when I got out the taxi, why my hair was wet, the chocolate milk, the blurry photos, the random guy in America's bed, the pool of water in my apartment, my shoe in the hallway...but because of it the night was completely awesome! I seriously felt like we were reliving our own version of The Hangover (minus the stripper, the baby and the tiger), but since I don't remember....who knows what actually happened....

Fellati-woes...

As you can probably tell I analyze things wayyyyyy to much. Just like an artist is too emotional, an engineer is to mechanic and a prostitute is too bendy, I'm an organizer who seeks problems to eventually find solutions...a bit too much.

During one of my many thoughts I realized something I'm not particularly good at. Giving head.

Lol...now. Lol...I'm sure respectable women aren't supposed to strive at giving good head but I'm not 100% respectable behind closed doors so I'm gonna roll with it. Hopefully you'll roll with me.

Do I like giving head? It's ight. Do I do it often? No sir I do not. Only two men have ever received that service from me and I can count on 1 1/2 hands how many times I've actually done it.

Isn't head supposed to take the place of sex? Well since I'm up for having sex anywhere, the absence of it has never really been an option. Most of the times I've done it, its been in bed, during foreplay.

Now...what keeps me from being a head enthusiast? I have issues with soft substances in my mouth (whipped cream...hummus...etc) and the anticipation of "the finish" keeps me from actually giving it my all. I've never brought a man close to the brink before cause usually when I'm doing it I'm getting him ready before I climb on board. Point is I'm scared okay!

Anyway, while I never want to experience the taste of...you know what...I do strive to be an all over asset and since that quality is rated high among men, I'm willing to put in time to work my skills out. I'm serious.

**Please note that I am not a hoe (I'm a realist) and I will not be participating in any of the above acts with any kind of man. I've heard cucumbers make good practice and before you think I'm aiming too high by practicing on a cucumber know that I have been extremely blessed with the sizes I've ran into thus far. Trust me...a cucumber will suffice.**

Our version of spaghetti...

Taking shots on my dad's side of the family is like pasta to Italians. It's a big fucking deal. From the moment you turn 21, my dad and uncles were teaching me how to take one.

First...never smell the drink prior to shooting it. Your stomach will automatically get queasy.

Second...breathe in, hold your breath then take the shot....exhale the fumes after (p.s. taking the lime is for pussies (their words not mine). they told me never date a guy til you've seen him take shot. If he can't take a shot, he can't take a punch.)

Third...always drink with family. My family always experiences birthing waves. My dad is the youngest of 7 kids, and I'm the youngest of a 5 year birthing wave that produced 6 cousins. We call ourselves The Cousins. It's super corny til you're around us and realize you dream of being a cousin yourself. We take cousin shots at random times through out the night and if you ain't blood you don't participate. Every time the whole family gets together (Christmas, birthdays, national holidays, BBQs, weddings, births) The Uncles and The Cousins take a shot of Wild Turkey in toast of the eldest brother/uncle that died. Try being a young girl praying to God you didn't spit this up in front of 20 family members. I got good at it in fear I would be shunned from the family.

and Fourth...never drink bottom shelf liquor. If you're too broke to drink either Patron or Crown Royal, your ass is too broke to go out.

Now....friends I've brought around my family tend to think we're alcoholics. No we're not. NO ONE has ever lost jobs, relationships and lives over liquor. Our motto is don't make it a problem, if you aren't around family you aren't drinking. Seriously, taking shots is a way to bridge the gaps between the generations. If you aren't family then you won't understand. My little sister is the oldest of the 2nd birth wave of cousins and she's pissed that she's missing out on drinking with The Cousins. I mean she'll seriously end up going to a shrink when she gets older for separation issues.

Anyway...I'm proud of the fact that I'm a woman who can roll with the big boys and takes shots of Wild Turkey. I used to get many dicks hard with that trick when I was a server...men are so funny by the way. I love my family and the dynamic we have. Outsiders really don't understand and can only take hanging with The Cousins once a year.

I wonder how things are going to change, The Cousins are experiencing our 2nd birthing wave right now. We are expecting 5 babies this year. My ass was drinking water bottles when I went back home, no way was I drinking the tap water.

Did I mention my eldest cousin just open her own upscale liquor store? Yeah....I won't even go into it. I love my family.

Grey, grey, go away...

So I found my first grey hair yesterday and I fell into my bathroom wall in shock.

I had just washed my hair and was blowing it dry when I spotted a shiny strand. My mom started greying at 25 so I've kinda been on the look out for years (I never really thought I'd find anything cause by the time my mom was 25 she was married with 2 kids).

You always think about what you would do when you have lot of greys...dye it, pluck them or rock them like Stacy London does. Or for men what you would do if you start to loose hair, shave it bald, get plugs. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW HOW YOU'LL FEEL WHEN YOU ACTUALLY FIND ONE.

At this point, there's no other evidence I need, I'm officially old (insert genuine tear).

I plucked that son of a bitch out my head though and tapped it to my mirror to remember that life is short...

A feeling I've felt before...

Soooooo......I may be on the move again. It's hard for me to keep secrets from my mom so I confessed to her that I had gone back to school. I really didn't want to but she was about to go into the all-my-life's-problems-would-be-solved-if-I-went-back-to-school speech and I just wasn't in the mood.

My mom works for this huge company that does a lot of event planning and design and has been offering to get me on board for the longest time. Because of my stubborn, I'll learn my own lessons and pave my own way type of personality I've always declined the offer. In my defense though, I'd have to move to San Diego (boring) and the kind of events I'd be planning would be corporate meetings at convention centers (blah, so vanilla).

At this point I'd be happy planning any event to obtain further experience on the quest toward my dream job so I may be on the move once again. I'm inspired to take back my life that this job has robbed me of. I mean I can still plan events here but with my boss being after me the way she is, I'm not trying to go out of my way to make her look good (it's just a conflict of personalities between the two of us. She's POWER hungry and I'm the old, heavy ass bloodhound that refuses to give an inch).

What would be playing on my iPOd...Ey...iy...iy...

Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's too late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 2]
I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say is I shoulda grabbed you up and never let you go
I shoulda went out with you
I shoulda made you my boo boy
Yeah that's one time I shoulda broke the rules
I shoulda went on a date
Shoulda found a way to escape
Shoulda turned a almost into
If it happend now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

[Verse 3]
(sometimes I wanna rub ya, some nights I wanna hug ya)
And you seem to be the perfect one for me
You (some nights I wanna touch ya but tonight I wanna love ya)
You're all that I ever wanted
And you're my everything yes its true
Boy its hard to be close to you
My love
I know it may sound crazy
But I'm in love with you

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there (sometimes I wanna rub ya)
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Let me take my time and reminisce (but tonight I wanna love ya)
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said its impossible to miss when you never had
Never, never almost had you (but tonight I wanna love ya)

My thoughts exactl;y...

Ugh...I feel so stupid! I'm trying to be true to myself....I'm trying to be true to myself. I've held on to these pics for quite some time. I'm gonna die when I find out I really posted these in the morning. lol.