Hello Ms. Lady,
It must be weird getting a message from me. I'm 26 now. Lol...I know it's crazy, I'm still getting used to it. I wanted to write you this letter because I love you. I really do. I've seen your future and there's some things I wanted you to know.
-Make amends with your dad, Craig. Your fall out hasn't happened yet but it will. You are already having resentment feelings toward him. Talk to him and be understanding. Drugs have turned him into a different person. He knows it and even he is having a hard time with who he's become. When you're my age, all the anger emotions you have toward him will be distant memories and it will be too late to fix. You'll regret holding on to the anger because when you look back on your childhood the bad times won't even exist.
-Jaycee goes through a really hard time his senior year and into adulthood. Be there for him. You are the one he will call for. The one he needs and while it will be very hard for you know it's thousands times harder for him. Watch your words, in an anger filled moment one comment will change your relationship with him forever.
-The greatest gift you will receive is a sweet puppy. TRAIN HIM PROPERLY. If not you won't open up your future homes to enjoy with other people. You may become recluse-ish.
-Cry more babe. You can still be strong for your mom and the family and cry. I know you think it's a weakness but if you learn to do it now you will be able to control your tears in the future.
-Follow your heart when it comes to men and you'll do just fine. I know you are afraid to let someone in because of your real dad and you don't want to get hurt, but it gonna happen anyways. You can't controll it. Follow your gut too cause it's actually God speaking to you. Walk away when it says walk away. It's okay to not believe in unconditional love right now but keep believing, it may happen. You'll kiss a few toads, even fall in love with a few but the lessons you learn help you become the amazing woman you turn out to be.
-Be closer to God. Reading the bible and going to church may be a little nerdy for a teen but when you are laying in bed at night trying not to cry pretend your pillow is His chest and lean on Him. The man that you've been dreaming of...Prince Charming...He's been with you all along. Have conversations with Him. Call Him before you call your friends.
-People will make you second guess your dreams/career but like you always are, be yourself. The lessons you learn from dreaming and failing will help you discover you're true calling in life. Not many people can say they know their reason for living but you will.
-Don't analyze your premonitions so much. You'll spend a lot of time worrying and missing out on life because you are afraid of what you've already "seen".
-Make a point to get close to your sisters as much as you can. You only have 2 now but you'll get 2 more later and those relationships will mean more to you then you know now.
-Help Chase think on his own. Show him how to problem solve. Yes he's your little brother but LET him put the last block on his lego tower. Help him do things on his own. Your mom is going to have a hard time with him later. Helping him be a strong kid now will help make him a strong man later. Get to know who he is so when he gets older so he'll trust you with his thoughts. Oh and extra lessons on how to look both ways before crossing a street will help. Trust me!
-Learn to save your money. You will grow into a big spender. The more money you have in the bank, the more frugal you become. I know it's weird but trust me, that's how you are. Protect your credit. You won't be able to pay all your bills on time but make it a priority to try.
-You and your mom's relationship will stand the test of time but don't change your course because she says so. Take care of her like you always have. She'll need it. You are going to go through a lot too and you will need her. Her biggest insecurity is feeling like everyone wants something from her without having someone of her own to make her feel special. Words are great but actions speak louder. Do nice things for her.
-I know when you look in the mirror there are things you want to change about your body. You don't know it now but honey! That body is the shit!!! Boys like it now and men will want it later. Take your shirt off when you go to the pool. You are so very pretty. Freshmen 15 is real but you won't really gain weight until 24/25 (I'll have to write a letter to her telling her to get off the couch next.) Natural beauty is great but doesn't last always, continue to take care of your self and your confidence.
-You have always been a leader but you unknowingly make the same decisions as your friends. You don't know it now but they aren't as they appear. You will try to live your life based on theirs and it just won't work. It'll just hold you back. Trust yourself and make those random, Libra decisions you are confortable with. God is going to bless you with Great friends later in life anyway.
-Continue to hold on to your morals, your parents taught you well and while I would say it might be easier for you to wait to have sex til you are out of high school, waiting until you are 18 is still a great goal (one you really will reach).
Honestly though, you are going to go through a lot of changes, a lot of hard times, and a lot of lessons learned but you are a smart, strong black woman and you will always come out on top. Hold tight to your family, your morals and your faith. Other then that enjoy life Love. I'm very very proud of the journey you are on and the storms you will endure.
Love always and forever,
Your 26 year old self
OH...p.s. You'll end up really liking tattoos, but when you go to get your first one and your third one, please stay away from Chinese symbols and moons and stars. Actually you know what? Don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll be ight'.
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