My little sister....the 17 year old, is currently not talking to me. I found this out after I texted her and she responded via Facebook with a status that said "...take this no communication as a sign...". Why is she not talking to me? Because I got super drunk on Thanksgiving with the rest of the family (which is was not responsible, I'll admit) and we ended up having a conversation, (that I don't even remember) where I said something that "upset" her. Now at first I was sad...I mean I never want her to be mad but then I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to do this, this fixing other people's issues. Lol...I'm done...and I love it.
I was brought up as a fixer. For years as a kid, I worried about how my step dad's actions would affect my little brothers. I worked overtime with my mom to cover up his mistakes and you know what? My brother's have grown up to make the same stupid mistakes their dad did. As a kid, I tried to read in between the lines to figure out why my dad wasn't there for me? Why he didn't fight for me? Why even my step dad didn't fight for me? To try and be a role model to my siblings, to show them how to live life correctly. I mean issues, after issues, after issues to try and figure out and now I'm through.
After 2010 ends I'm leaving all that behind me. I'm not sweeping them under the rug, they will LITERALLY not exist. Sure I'll lend an ear. I'll be a support, but I will not harp any longer. People are going to make decisions for themselves and I'm no longer going to miss out on my life to help them work through them.
I'm so excited for what 2011 holds for me and while my finances are struggling and there's a thought of me moving back to CO for a couple of months, I still remain okay that the only decisions I make will benefit my future, not anyone else's.
18 more days left.......!
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