Who do I have to be.....

It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Hook:
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Repeat Hook

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me

Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me
(Repeat)
--

A lot of my female friends are going thru it with their men. I remember those days of loving and pleading for the man in your life, the man you loved more then anything to just stay and love you. Reminding him of all the things he's said to you. Reminding him of all the times you wanted to leave and he brought you back. (p.s The Joke-ster has been all up in my dreams too.....sigh.) I love this song so much.

It's funny tho because I've been singing this song since I was a kid and never really paid attention to the words. I recently put Lauryn's CD in to play as I was waiting for a friend and randomly picked up the insert to read the words. When I actually read the lyrics that I'd been singing for years, I fell even more in love with it.

As this year comes to an end, I've been trying to figure out if I'm ready to date again. Has my heart mended? Have I really left all my baggage in the past? Are all my cynical thoughts and negative notions now converted into positive and faithful ones? Yes I think they are.

For the first time ever, I'm excited about letting a man into my heart. To love equally without shutting myself off completely and be an optimistic. It still unnerves me a little but I try not to think of the pain that I and other women I know have had to face. The love lost.

I love being single, and I don't know if it's because of my cliche age but I think I really have developed as a person and am thinking about marriage and kids.

The only thing left to do is figure out the income and career of choice....ugh....no bueno.