So I had a recent conversation with this light skinned guy (we’ll call him PYT…Pretty Young Thing) I used to talked to six months ago and it went like this.
PYT: Hey I was just thinking about you!
Me: Were you?
PYT: Yeah I kinda miss you.
Me: Do you?
PYT: Yeah! I got a new phone but I did something bad.
Me: Did you?
(P.S. it is NEVER a good sign guys, when you're talking to a girl and the only way she's participating in the conversation is by asking questions. NEVER A GOOD SIGN.)
PYT: I didn’t program your number.
ME: Oh my.
PYT: I know! Can you give it to me again?
Me: What did you need it for?
PYT: So I can call you!
Me: Oh okay…If you’re going, we’ll talk about this at Nali’s art show on Friday.
PYT: Here I’ll give you my number just in case***-***-**** call me okay? I want to hear your voice.
(I didn’t respond)
Now all throughout high school it seemed athletic, light skinned guys were the finest guys in school. The guy I had a crush on my freshmen year was Trevor Oxley…cute smile…curly top fade and played power forward on the Varsity basketball team (see that’s what little I knew, no body falls in love with the power forward! It’s like falling in love with a Tim Duncan....blah…nuff said).
As I grew in to my body and got smarter about men I realized I’m IN LOVE with milk chocolate men, like my panties are always wet kind of love. I may occasionally talk to light skinned guys but the only thing they’re good for is an ego boost for me and a pink dick and THAT’S GROSS.
PYT and I used to work in a restaurant together and one time BBQ sauce got poured in my hair! He was so sweet though, he took me to the bathroom and washed my hair out for me. He was tender, never wanting to hurt me and asking if he was pulling too hard. See while that really kindhearted that’s exactly how he treated me in bed and it was boring! I’ve only had sex with two really handsome light skinned guys and I only did it once with each cause it was just awful. It was with the lights off cause I was scared they might have earth worms colored dicks between their legs (the ones that are on the sidewalk after it rains…yeah those aren’t pretty). Realizing I was balancing my checkbook in my head both times I patted these guys on the shoulder and said I wanted to stop because I was sore. We were doing it missionary style! Since that’s the least freaky position anyone can do, I felt bad for lying but I was REALLY bored.
I love sex, not the whore kind of sex though, where I can do it with anyone and still get pleasure. No I love the, everything about this man has had me wet since he picked me up and if he doesn’t touch me I’m gonna die kind of sex and I only get that way with gorgeous chocolate toned men.
Oh well, I guess I’ll keep leaving my Zorro sword mark on these light skinned guy’s hearts since they keep falling in love with me. All really is fair in love and war.
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