Okay I'm done with this shit. Like for real. I find it funny when men in relationships give me advice on how to “get wifed up”. First off, that's not the greatest, most unselfish gift a man could give a woman. It's an orgasm. And no, giving them the whack ass baby mama title IS NOT the same. But honesty, if that was a life-long goal of mine,to be wifed up, I would have been married six times by now to pretty decent men. Educated. Well off. Driven. (but their swag wasn't interesting enough for me to want to check out the sex game and I will not even think about marrying you if you're not laying the pipe, so....)
No though, it’s not my tattoos, sharp tongue or frank personality that “keeps” me from being a wife, (I’ve found those attributes are well received while knocking the boots anyway) it’s the fact that I’ve chosen not to be someone's wife. Sure the man I almost married and deemed *“the one” turned out to be a fucking joke (he will always have the little red, laser dot on his forehead from my invisable S.W.A.T gun, but my faith in Jesus has prevented me from pulling the trigger...for now) but that doesn’t make me bitter or cynical about relationships, it makes me wiser and more self-aware.
To future male, self proclaimed, relationship "advisers" (who's ulterior motive seems to be getting me in bed...his wife is a LUCKY lady)I suggest giving single men the advice on how to keep a woman like me interested in even dating him, let alone marrying his ass. And like I said, regardless of the “mentoring” man’s marital status, IF I really wanted to,IF I REALLY WANTED TO, all I’d have to do is strategically bend at the waist to show my ass or blow in his ear the right way to have him forgetting he was in a relationship at all. Because as history has taught us (Tiger Woods), in the heat of the moment, who seems to carry more power, the wife or the other woman?
*You'll soon learn that I give the men in my life nick names. The last man I has feeling for is mentioned above but his nickname is The Joke-ster because I google "top 5 villians of all time" and The Joker from The Dark Knight was present in all the results. There was a quote from Alfred too that said "...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." and that's a perfect description of this man's actions during our 2 year, 6 month engagement. Whatever though...God and good and He brought me out of it. Now...all is well!
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