Let's talk temptation...

"Temptations come, as a general rule, when they are sought."

Isn't temptation one of those scenarios of what came first? The want or the pursuit? You never go after something unless you want it, but you may not want something without first exploring and figuring out you are with out it....if that makes any sense.

Anyway....Lent is coming to an end and I'm scratching my eyes out! I gave up shopping and liquor, which I know, what was I thinking? The reason of Lent though is sacrifice and a sacrifice by definition is the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

At this point in my life I'm REALLY tired of working at a "job" so I've started taking steps to pursue my passion which is event production. Because of the definition of sacrifice, I decided to devote this year to denying my temptations in the hopes of gaining something better (a career) and I'm currently feeling like I'm on a fucking suicide mission.

I gave up shopping because I buy something every day. Stupid shit. Just so I can have the sensation of swiping my credit card (a small scale version of an orgasm). I'm pretty sure I have an addiction to shopping (which by the way is the only reason why I MAY believe in sex addiction. If for some reason shopping was suddenly socially inept, I'd become the freaking Jeffery Dehmar of that world without hesitation or regret.) but I'm not homeless and I'm not to the point where I'm sucking a Joe's balls behind a 7-Eleven for some spending change, so I'm gonna assume I'm in the safe stages of the addiction....like only smoking crack on national holidays.

I also gave up alcohol. See, my paternal family hails from Dublin, Ireland (hence my last name almost being Bryant, but my mother had an overwhelming amount of hatred for her baby daddy the day I was born so I got her maiden name instead, Tassian, it's french....whatevs) and I was basically born with crown royal in my blood. I was 21 when I started hanging out with my older Irish cousins and soon figured out I may have had (similar to shopping) a slight infatuation with taking shots. Long story short though, my step dad died 8 weeks ago to the day and I decided to drown the guilt and pain of our relationship with Crown Royal. I ended up having a mental break down, that consisted of me crying at my mom's front door, repeating over and over again that I was waiting for my dad, (the one who died) to come and get me, like I used to do when I was four. Definitely a low point.

Anyway, with Easter only being 3 days away, I'm almost done and grateful that God brought me through it. I'll tell you what though.....there's gonna be a misunderstanding come Monday cause my credit card and I are hitting Michigan Ave hard. Ahhh I can't wait!